Terms of Use: Please note that Evil Altoids is not responsible for your disapproval and/or utter insanity. If you have any problems or complains regarding the site or the band throughout the course of your visit here, there is an exit located on the upper right hand corner of this window at all times. Don't feel free to contact us because we do not care so go find someone else to listen to your bitching. (It is not our fault if they dont care either) This site is non-refundable in all 50 states as well as in Canada and parts of the Virgin Islands. Shoes, shirts and pants are NOT required. The pervious rule may be revoked  however if A) you are +200lbs over weight B) are ugly and no one wants to see that sort of thing C) you have acne in places we just dont want to know about or C) we just flat out hate you and wish to limit you as much as humanly possible. For best results LICK MY NIPPLE! Won't dissolve in water yet 99.4% Biodegradable and naturally organic. This site is free for the 1st 98348593 minutes, after that you will be charges $19.93 for each additional minute. Service charges may apply. Those who are prone to seizures may want to think twice before entering. May cause hazard to your health or brain damage if stared at for too long. Keep all appendages inside at all times and make sure to wash behind your ears.

This rendition of Evil Altoids has Copyright © 2003 by Oatmeal Toejam Inc. as well as their Partner 4Eva Cockrell Printing Company. Everything seen on this site has the registered trademark of Evil Altoids and pictures or other such items shall not be used or stolen without the granted permission of any member of Evil Altoids. Those poor souls who have been found guilty of such heinous crimes shall be smoothed with burnt toast and poked vigorously with plastic sporks for 2.748 consecutive hours. Do yourself a favor: keep good karma, eat your reds, silence the violence and DONT STEAL MY SHIT! Now...have a nice day is you so choose, and dont forget to smile...until you stop.